When a loss changes everything
Losing someone suddenly or in traumatic circumstances can turn your whole world upside down.
You might be struggling to make sense of what happened, replaying events in your mind or feeling emotions you don't quite know what to do with. Perhaps the people around you are trying to help, but nobody really understands what you're going through.
I'm Kate, a grief counsellor based in Ipswich, Suffolk. I offer a safe, compassionate space where you can talk openly about your loss, however difficult it feels, without judgement or pressure to be okay.
When grief feels too much to carry
You don't have to pretend you're coping.
Perhaps you've heard people tell you to stay strong, focus on the good memories or try to move forward.
But how do you begin to do that when you're still trying to understand what's happened?
You might be feeling:
-
Shock or disbelief. Part of you still can't believe they're gone.
-
Guilt. You keep thinking about what you could have said or done differently.
-
Anger. At what happened, at other people or at how unfair it all feels.
-
Fear or anxiety. The world no longer feels as safe or predictable as it once did.
-
Loneliness. Even when you're surrounded by people, you feel completely alone.
-
Confusion. Your emotions change from one day to the next, and sometimes you don't feel much at all.
You might also find yourself avoiding certain places, struggling to sleep or feeling overwhelmed by reminders of what happened.
And perhaps the hardest part is feeling that you can't tell anyone what you're really thinking.
You don't have to have the right words. And you don't have to make sense of everything before asking for support.
Understanding traumatic grief
Traumatic grief can happen when someone dies suddenly, unexpectedly or in particularly distressing circumstances.
This might include losing someone through suicide, murder, a road traffic accident or another sudden or traumatic event.
Alongside the sadness of losing someone you love, you may also be dealing with the shock of how they died.
You might find yourself going over the circumstances again and again, searching for answers or wondering whether anything could have been done differently.
For some people, there are unanswered questions that may never be resolved. For others, the circumstances surrounding the death can make it difficult to remember the person without thinking about how they died.
Grief after a traumatic loss isn't always straightforward. You may be grieving the person, the future you imagined together and the sense of safety you once had.
There's no single way to experience traumatic grief, and there's no timetable for how you should be feeling.
How I can support you through traumatic grief
You don't have to carry everything on your own.
Sometimes the people closest to us are grieving too. Sometimes they don't know what to say. And sometimes we hold back because we don't want to upset them or become a burden.
Counselling gives you somewhere that's just for you.
A place where you can say the things you haven't been able to say out loud. Where you don't need to protect anyone else's feelings or worry about being judged.
We can explore whatever feels important to you, at a pace that feels manageable.
Together, we might work on:
-
Making sense of the shock and emotions surrounding your loss.
-
Exploring feelings of guilt, anger, shame or regret.
-
Talking through difficult memories and unanswered questions.
-
Understanding how your grief is affecting your everyday life and relationships.
-
Finding ways to cope when reminders or emotions feel overwhelming.
-
Learning to live alongside your grief without feeling that you're leaving the person behind.
My aim isn't to make you forget what happened or tell you how to move on.
It's to help you feel less alone with what you're carrying and, in time, begin to find moments of hope again.
You don't have to grieve the way other people expect you to
Maybe you've been told you're doing really well because you haven't cried.
Or perhaps people think you should be feeling better by now.
You might even have moments when you laugh, enjoy yourself or briefly forget what's happened, only to feel guilty afterwards.
Grief doesn't follow a set of rules.
You can miss someone desperately and still have moments of happiness. You can feel angry with someone you've lost and still love them. You can want to talk about what happened one day and not be able to face it the next.
None of that means you're grieving incorrectly.
You don't need to justify your grief here.
A personal approach to grief counselling
I'm Kate, an integrative grief counsellor and grief coach based in Ipswich, Suffolk.
Through my counselling work, including supporting people within a hospice setting, I've seen how differently people experience grief and how important it is to have somewhere they feel genuinely heard.
I don't believe in a one-size-fits-all approach.
Some sessions might involve talking through what happened and exploring how you're feeling. Other times, we might focus on the challenges you're facing right now or find practical ways to help you cope with everyday life.
I draw on different counselling and coaching approaches depending on what you need.
You don't have to decide whether counselling or coaching is right for you before we meet. We can talk about what you're experiencing and work out together how I can best support you.
How we can work together
Counselling is flexible, and we can work together in a way that suits you best.
In-Person Counselling in Ipswich
Meet with me in a calm, private and welcoming therapy room in Ipswich, Suffolk.
£55 per session
Sessions last 60 minutes
A comfortable, confidential counselling space in Ipswich
Remote and Online Grief Counselling
The same warm, supportive counselling from the comfort of your own space, via secure video (Teams/Zoom) or by phone
£55 per session
Sessions last 60 minutes
Video or phone
FAQ's
Ready to take the first step?
You don't have to do this alone.
I know that reaching out for support can feel like a big step, particularly when you're already dealing with so much.
If you'd like to talk about what you're going through and how counselling might help, you're welcome to book a free, no-obligation chat.
There's no pressure and no expectation to have everything figured out.