When life changes in ways you never expected
Receiving a life-limiting diagnosis, whether it's your own or someone you love, can change everything.
You might be trying to take in difficult news, make sense of what the future could look like or adjust to a life that suddenly feels very different from the one you imagined.
Perhaps you're putting on a brave face for everyone around you, even though you're frightened, angry or completely overwhelmed.
Or maybe you're caring for someone you love, doing everything you can to support them while quietly struggling with your own feelings.
I'm Kate, a grief counsellor based in Ipswich, Suffolk. I offer a safe, compassionate space where you can talk openly about what you're going through, without judgement, expectations or pressure to stay positive.
You don't have to face everything on your own.
When you're trying to be strong for everyone else
You deserve support too.
Perhaps people keep telling you to stay positive, be brave or make the most of every moment.
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But what happens when you don't feel positive? When you're exhausted, frightened or simply don't know how to cope with everything that's happening?
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You might be feeling:
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Fear or anxiety. You're worried about what lies ahead and how life might change.
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Sadness. You're grieving the future you imagined or the things that may no longer be possible.
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Anger. At the diagnosis, the unfairness of the situation or the changes it has brought.
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Guilt. You feel bad for having difficult thoughts, needing a break or not always feeling strong.
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Loneliness. Even when you're surrounded by people who care, it can feel as though nobody truly understands.
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Exhaustion. The emotional and practical demands of illness or caring for someone are taking their toll.
You might also find that your feelings change from one day to the next.
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Some days you feel hopeful. Other days, everything feels too much.
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And perhaps the hardest part is feeling that you can't tell the people closest to you how you're really feeling because you don't want to upset or worry them.
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You don't have to be strong all the time. And you don't have to put everyone else's feelings before your own.
Understanding grief and life-limiting illness
Grief doesn't always begin when someone dies.
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When you or someone close to you receives a life-limiting diagnosis, you may begin grieving long before a bereavement happens.
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This is sometimes called anticipatory grief. You might be grieving changes to your health, independence, relationships or everyday life. You may be mourning plans you had made, experiences you hoped to share or a future that now feels uncertain.
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If someone you love is seriously ill, you might find yourself thinking about life without them, even while they're still here.
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That can bring complicated feelings.
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You might feel guilty for imagining a future without them, frightened about what lies ahead or overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for them.
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And alongside all of this, there may still be moments of happiness, laughter, hope and connection.
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Those moments don't make your grief any less real.
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For some people, a life-limiting illness involves a long period of uncertainty and change. For others, things happen much more quickly than expected.
There is no single way to experience this kind of grief.
You can feel grateful for the time you have together and still feel devastated by what's happening. Both feelings can exist at the same time.
How I can support you through illness, grief and loss
You don't have to carry everything on your own.
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When someone is living with a serious illness, so much attention understandably goes towards appointments, treatments, practical arrangements and caring responsibilities.
But what about how you're feeling?
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Sometimes the people closest to us are struggling too. We might hold back because we don't want to worry them, add to their burden or say something that feels too difficult.
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Counselling gives you somewhere that's just for you.
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A place where you can talk about your fears, frustrations, sadness and hopes without needing to protect anyone else's feelings.
We can explore whatever feels important to you, at a pace that feels manageable.
Together, we might work on:
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Making sense of the emotions surrounding a life-limiting diagnosis.
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Exploring feelings of fear, sadness, anger, guilt or uncertainty.
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Coping with changes to your health, independence, relationships or everyday life.
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Finding ways to manage the emotional demands of caring for someone you love.
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Talking about anticipatory grief and the possibility of future loss.
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Exploring difficult conversations, changing roles and the things you may find hard to say.
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Finding ways to cope with bereavement following a period of illness.
You don't have to arrive knowing exactly what you want to talk about. ​Some sessions might focus on how you're feeling right now. Others might involve exploring the changes you're experiencing or finding practical ways to cope with everyday challenges.
My aim isn't to tell you how you should feel or encourage you to be positive when things are difficult.
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It's to give you somewhere you feel heard, understood and supported through whatever you're facing.
You don't have to feel positive all the time
Maybe you've been told to stay strong, keep fighting or focus on the good things.
Perhaps you feel that admitting you're frightened or angry would somehow mean you're giving up.
Or maybe you're supporting someone who is ill, and you feel guilty whenever you need time for yourself.
But living with illness, or watching someone you love go through it, can be incredibly difficult.
You can feel hopeful and frightened at the same time.
You can love someone deeply and still feel exhausted by the responsibility of caring for them.
You can enjoy a happy moment together and then feel overwhelmed by sadness.
And if someone you love has died following a long illness, you might experience relief alongside your grief, particularly if they had been suffering or you had spent a long time caring for them.
That doesn't mean you loved them any less.
You don't need to justify your feelings here. Whatever you're experiencing, there's room for it.
A personal approach to grief counselling
I'm Kate, an integrative grief counsellor and grief coach based in Ipswich, Suffolk.
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Through my counselling work, including supporting people within a hospice setting, I've seen how differently people experience grief and how important it is to have somewhere they feel genuinely heard.
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I don't believe in a one-size-fits-all approach.
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Some sessions might involve talking about a diagnosis, exploring difficult emotions or sharing fears about the future.
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Other times, we might focus on the challenges you're facing right now, changes in your relationships or finding practical ways to help you cope with everyday life.
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I draw on different counselling and coaching approaches depending on what you need.
You don't have to decide whether counselling or coaching is right for you before we meet. We can talk about what you're experiencing and work out together how I can best support you.
How we can work together
Counselling is flexible, and we can work together in a way that suits you best.
In-Person Counselling in Ipswich
Meet with me in a calm, private and welcoming therapy room in Ipswich, Suffolk.
£55 per session
Sessions last 60 minutes
A comfortable, confidential counselling space in Ipswich
Remote and Online Grief Counselling
The same warm, supportive counselling from the comfort of your own space, via secure video (Teams/Zoom) or by phone
£55 per session
Sessions last 60 minutes
Video or phone
FAQ's
Ready to take the first step?
You don't have to do this alone.
Whether you're living with a life-limiting illness, supporting someone you love or grieving after a bereavement, you deserve somewhere you can talk openly about what you're going through.
I know that reaching out for support can feel like a big step, especially when life already feels overwhelming.
If you'd like to explore how counselling might help, you're welcome to book a free, no-obligation chat.
There's no pressure, and you don't need to have everything figured out.